This is why I haven’t said yes. Oh, at least, not yet.
I am nearly thirty, and I am still single. It’s not that nobody likes me. I guess it is by choice. Don’t get me wrong, I am not choosy. I just don’t want to settle for something I might regret later on.
I didn’t really say no just because I don’t like you. I did because I cared for you too. A relationship is not one sided. A relationship is consisting of two individuals. I have learned my worth the time I was moving on from my last relationship. I now know what I deserve. I even questioned the world for not showing me a nice guy back then.
But even so, I still didn’t say yes to you.
I haven’t said yes yet because I’m not sure of what I really want.
I actually never cared about looks nor riches and has always cared of my feelings. But I guess, it shouldn’t be enough at all. Love will never be enough. I should also consider a lot of things and have something called standards.
And as I reflect within myself, I realized that I shouldn’t rush things. I am exactly where I needed to be at the moment. And I am genuinely happy for myself. I may be getting older but what should matter the most is my happiness.
I shouldn’t just say yes because of my relatives and acquaintances that are pressuring me about being single at this age.
I shouldn’t just say no since the person didn’t get to meet the one, I envision of. I am aware that I shouldn’t be ashamed of having my own preferences. I know when I get there, I wouldn’t just care of others opinion. I know when I felt it, I’d allow my heart to run wild.
But as I’ve said earlier, a relationship is consisting of two individuals and I care about you, too. I shouldn’t just consider my convenience but also yours. I am not that selfish.
If I have standards, I’m sure you have one too. I don’t want you settling for someone who might treat you weirdly later on. I don’t want you to regret being with someone you didn’t deserve at all. Have you even realized and accepted what you’re probably gaining from this? If you’re not okay with your realizations, I guess you know what to do. Maybe it’s true when they said that the good ones always get away.
Not everything in life is meant to be a beautiful story. Not every person we feel something deep and meaningful with is meant to have a happy ending with us. Sometimes, people come into our lives to teach us and not always be the answer itself. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, those efforts alone won’t suffice.
I haven’t said yes because I am not yet ready. I know hearing that would leave you a thought of being able to change my mind. I’ll leave it on how you’d want to interpret it.
